Parenthood is…

Anecdotes from the chaotic world that orbits a modern and extremely busy mum of four.

Oh My God, I’ve dyed my baby!!

on 20/03/2013

Today I decided to be a good parent and do some “activities” with the youngest two children – some painting and maybe some cooking…

We started with the painting – I got everything out and ready, set Gabriel up and let him get creative. Then I thought it’d be nice to get some hand prints from Tobs while he’s little so painted his hand. A couple of right-handed prints later he started wriggling and then grumbling. Shortly after a familiar, warm smell drifted up to my nose (that distinctive smell of hot, digested milk and baby rice – how can two such innocuous foods create such a pong?! Maybe that’s a subject for another day…?!). Sure enough, upon inspection, I found that Tobs had not only pooped but had decided to do some artwork of his own and his and my clothes now had a new, yellow pattern to them. Nice. So I took him to the sink to wash off the paint before I changed him… I popped his hand under running water and it very soon became apparent that, under the paint, Toby’s skin was now blue!! argh!

Practical mum kicked-in and I headed back through to continue with the task of changing Toby’s nappy and clothes. As I walked back past Gabriel, however, I found that Gabriel had not only painted both his hands in a medley of green and red, but one of his arms in the same red-and-green-make-durgy-brown medley and, (most alarmingly given my recent discovery regarding the dyeing nature of the paints), his nose – in bright blue!

At this point I found myself pondering the dilemma of which substance to deal with first – the paint decorating Gabriel or the poop adorning Toby…? I chose the poop (Tobs having been the one making the most noise!). That done, I faced the challenge of cleaning-up Gabriel. Sure enough, soap and water revealed that Gabriel was indeed now sporting a farmer’s tan of murky green… and a bright, blue nose, like a colour-blind clown!

(It was at this point, looking again at Toby’s hand, that I found myself momentarily wondering whether it would be truly bad parenting to ‘neaten the job’ and paint ‘gloves’ on his hands to disguise my inadvertent dye-job…?!)

Half an hour of soaking and scrubbing in the bath later and Gabriel’s skin was duly restored to its natural, pink colour – that is, all except for his blue nose! Toby’s hand was still blue at this point but, as it was rapidly heading for home-from-school-time for the eldest two, I had to abandon my plans for bathing him early and, instead, headed back downstairs to clear up the ‘art’ and prepare for the inevitable “Why is Toby’s hand blue?… *pause* …And why the *#!@ is Gabriel’s nose blue?!” that would emanate from the other half upon his arrival home from work….

Upon clearing-up, I discovered that Gabriel had also taken the time to thoughtfully paint one of the dining chairs and washing the pots and brushes left the kitchen resembling an explosion in a Picasso studio – fortunately the paint came off furniture significantly more easily than it did off skin!

Lessons learned?
1. I am not safe in charge of child-friendly paints.
2. Wipes remove paint very well from furniture – not so well from skin.
3. The constant stream of teething-dribble produced by a six month baby has the cleaning power equivalent to a half-hour soak in a bath (thankfully!).

I think I’ll save the cooking for another day! Now, where’s that bottle of wine…?!


2 responses to “Oh My God, I’ve dyed my baby!!

  1. Sam Read says:

    Oh Chot I absolutely love this!! Such a great story and love the blog idea! Looking forward to other antics 😛 xx

  2. Rachel says:

    I enjoyed reading this made me laugh Charlotte and reminded me ill have to go through all of this again. Jack doesn’t like mess luckily but I have a feeling Finley just might lOl. Looking fwd to your next blog xx

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